" I Feel Good"

Holy Pollen Batman. I can't see a thing these days. It is a beautiful spring here in Central Texas. Bluebonnets all over the place. The sides of highways are speckled with pinks, reds, yellows, purple and yes, blue. We have bluebonnets in our back yard that we planted 2 years ago..reaching to our knees. But the oak. Mercy. Gorgeous comes with a price. Everything is green and a off yellow 'round here. My eyes feel like sandpaper every day. I bought new contacts thinking that mine had expired. Nope. I bought new mascara, allergy free. Nope. I carry Claritin D, eye drops and a "puffer" as we call it. Albuterol. It's actually Luke's, but jeeze, am I glad I have it around. I had a session the other day. Supposed to sing on my friend Brian's CD and I could not catch my breath. Oh yeah..! I have Luke's breather- thing at the bottom of my gig bag. 2 puffs, I am a new woman. I sounded like Celene Dion. Breathing..what a concept.

The neighborhood children have been over and outside a lot lately. I love it when they are here. Yes, I get "kidded"out sometimes, but my tolerance is pretty high. We are the only 1 kid home within a 30 mile radius, I think. Just so happens, that our 1 kid is a social social social butterfly. Everyone is welcome..as long as you are under the age of 10. I fill up the snack drawer with all kinds of crap and ruin their dinners. We are still getting rid of Halloween candy. Ok..not really, but that's where it all goes...the snack drawer. Every so often, I throw in an apple or a pear or carrot sticks..just to see what would happen. They eat everything. They are like little mice in the cabinet. Wrappers on the floor and all over the back yard. Leaving a trail from the drawer to the tree house.

We have a pretty eclectic backyard. When we first moved in there were 36 fire ant hills and a peach tree. Now we have all kinds of native plants, random furniture, 2 tomato plants (so far) and lately, a tent. Luke has a great tree house that Walt and our friend Sam built a few years back that gets used more often now too. The kids can look onto 2 neighbors backyards and the park next door. They yell at teenagers skateboarding in the street and hide. Our backyard is not fancy, it does not have a deck or a pool or a trampoline. It does not have beautiful lighting or acres to run or even a well manicured spot. I think the children like it because there is a lot of imagining to dig up back there. I like to hear them make up stories while they jump off the picnic table on to the mini trampoline on to our super hard slab of concrete. Good times. Scares the living @#^$&^ out of me, but it still is too fun to stop. They were playing Shawn White and Apollo Ono yesterday. Luke tried to get on the roof and jump on the mini trampoline. I caught him just in time. See this is why we have a mini and not a full size one. This is why we do not have a pool either. I often see the 2 boys who sometimes live across the street (long story)..playing in the bird bath. 4000 toys in the boy's room and you are playing in the poopy bird bath. Good luck in college.

Yesterday Luke had 3 neighborhood girls and his best buddy Kyle over to play. In the front door..to the back. Stop at the snack drawer..leave a wrapper or 4. Out the back door again. This went on and on and on for most of the afternoon. When I finally stopped the madness, 2 minutes later the littlest one came in and said she was hungry. I said, "Why don't you go home and bring me a snack?" She of course ignored my suggestion and asked if I had anything "dinner-like". I told her the cafe was closed and to come back in a week. I could feel myself getting "kidded out" very quickly. Maybe because I had things to do. I really wanted to plant things. I really wanted to write. I really wanted to practice guitar. I really wanted to clean the house. I really wanted to read. Oh! This is how moms with several children feel everyday!! Oh! This is why on this beautiful Sunday, they are all here! Oh! I kind of get it. I paused and hid in the closet and breathed..thank God I could breathe..and went out to face the snackers.

While I was in the closet drinking.. I mean praying , the kids decided to have a dance party. Or Luke decided to have a dance party. They had taken the CD player out of his room, brought it outside and put on "I Feel Good" by James Brown. 4 kids were on the picnic table dancing and Luke was lip syncing on the fancy slab of concrete. His "stage". He had all of the moves too. The neighborhood kids were all laughing, singing and dancing. The sun was bright, the bluebonnets were smiling and at that moment, everything was perfect. My beautiful son was having the time of his life. It is a moment by moment age..8 years old. The most important time is NOW. Let's have fun NOW. Let's eat snacks Now. Let's jump off the roof Now. How right they are. How far we as adults go just to realize that they have the golden ticket. Not some guru or book or class. They know that this is all we have. Right here. Right now.

We were driving up to Ft. Worth on Easter weekend and Luke, out of the blue, said to me..." Mama..there is no tomorrow. How do we know if it will be here? I sure hope tomorrow comes." Gulp. What? Praying that it was not some kind of a sign, I answered, " You are right. We do not know is tomorrow will come. So we need to live our lives the best we can today. This is the best day of our lives..today" He then said.."Can I have a snack?" Just like that..he changed my whole day. He changed my whole week. He dug me out of my pity party that I have been having since my birthday in January.

We only have today. We only have today. This is the best day. I sure hope tomorrow comes too, buddy. So why not dance on the picnic table..I mean, it's in a perfect spot, in the middle of the lawn, next to the slab overlooking the tomato plants. If you jump while you dance, you can see the neighbors yard..


12:24a.m. Tuesday April 13