Listening

Writing in the afternoon is weird.  Not that I NEED red wine to write..but it does loosen up the words a bit.  It is so quiet around here..I can hear the dog chewing something...probably my boot again..and the fridge making some kind of buzzing sound.  I can hear the wind outside.  That's about it.  I usually listen to Outlaw Country on XM..until Mojo Nixon comes on.  Then I change the channel to Willie's Place. The 1st station is more funky country/americana  and the 2nd is old country.  Vern Gosdin..George Jones..Lorettta Lynn..etc.  Singing about heartache and drinking and babies and babies from heartache and drinking.  Now,  Mojo Nixon is a cult figure that used to have a few hits way back.  He says anything he wants to on the radio.  Anything.  F bomb,  most often.  Not that I am offended easily, but he is on right when the kids get home from school.  Usually this is where our friend Abbey learns a few new choice words, before I leap across the couch and turn the channel.  Luke is kind of used to the cussing..being raised by a band and all. 

  I think I should be the DJ from 3-7 on Outlaw Country.  Not to brag, but I could hold it together..and not cuss.  much.   I could do the show right here in the office on Country Squire Drive.  I would have random people as guests; the mailman, UPs guy, neighbors walking their dogs.  I could yell at the kids running through the house and play our compadre's music.   Walt could assist me with the DJ part.  He is a reallllly good DJ.  In fact, he used to have a radio show back in his college days.  Picture this:    We would be like a real estate couple, working together, side by side (metaphorically)  and all.  We could get cards with our photos on it.  We could have a "team" name.  We could sit across from each other for 4 hours and do radio stunts and talk about the good old days, when cheatin' was cheatin' and songs were songs and men were men and women were..well.. maybe we wouldn't talk much, but we would spin some great tunes.  Do DJ's say spin?   We could wear matching headphones.  We could get a billboard.  When we drive to Fredericksburg, Texas, we drive by a billboard adorned with a husband and wife attorney team.  They are standing back to back..(actually they are more like back to bottom..because he appears to be 7 feet tall and she is about 5'0.)  They both have cowboy-ish hats on and are wearing similar clothing.    They have some sort of threatening statement above their heads..like.."Don't mess with The McElroys"..or "We'll take you down" or Two lawyers, one name:  "BADASS".  The woman looks like a fireball.  Why do we say that about folks who are height deficient?  (tried to be politically correct)   We never say that about lanky people.  That 6'5 guy..well he is a fireball.  Doesn't fit.  Like we would equate ...oh dang it..what is her name..the gal who sang "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree"..a song that I could never hear again and be quite happy..I digress...what..is..GOT IT!  Brenda Lee.  Now that is a fireball.  We went to her house once in Nashville...that's a whole different blog, but Gee what a fireball.  Or how about Debbie Reynolds.  Fireball.  Shirley Temple in her youth:  yup.  Fireball.  Maybe you have to be older than 50 and grow up on TV to be a true fireball.  Maybe it has to do with overacting.  Me.  Not so much a fireball.  I am more of a wiffleball. 

Now you probably wouldn't believe it, but I sat down all fired  up to write about Joan of Arc.   I promise I did not plan fireball and Joan of Arc.  That is dark.  Too dark and far to clever for me to come up with. 

We saw the 1948 movie on AMC or TCM or CMT, Sunday night.  Probably not CMT.  Only bad videos and nothing about a French religious icon and war heroine, on that channel.    So, I had never seen the move before and was riveted.  I loved Ingrid Bergman's portrayal of Joan and thought that Jose Ferrer was a perfect Dauphin.   Beautiful speaking voices, the two of them.    Sure Ingrid Bergman looked flawless in armor and never had a scuff on her, even in the most brutal of battles.  Sure she was most likely 35 playing a 16 year old illiterate virgin.  But suspending reality can do much for a hungry spirit.    We had just finished a long weekend together as a family, not traveling or performing.  We did a lot of laundry (well,  Walt did), cooked home meals and cleaned out drawers and stuff.  Fun bonding times, like that.  I was fretting lightly   over how I was going to actually start my New Year's promises.. of writing, reading, walking more  and perhaps adding to the family income, by getting a job.   Then along came Joan of Arc.  Joan heard voices.  She had a distinct calling.  A distinct and unique calling.  She saw saints.  She knew it was the voice of God calling her to change the world and never wavered.   What a beautiful message.  Maybe we all hear God's voice calling us and leading us to our perfect plan.  Maybe it's all jumbled because of static, self doubt and fast food.  Maybe there is something to say about finding a place a quiet and just being one with it all.  The space.  The quiet.  Sometimes we hear the dog chewing, but that shouldn't drown out God.  I have 15 more minutes until the quiet is interrupted by children running through the house being chased by the dog of unusual size,  trying to bite at them like they were equal canine competition or perhaps a tasty meat snack.   Yesterday Luke and his friend Marlee were standing on the kitchen counter laughing a fearful laugh that might sound like a child at a circus being greeted by creepy clowns.  So before that happens, I will sit still and listen.  I will first put the dog outside and then I will sit still and listen.  And when he stops scratching at the door, perhaps I will hear a whisper of what to do next to keep growing.   Maybe I will be the next great DJ.  Maybe I will have a calling to work part time at the Starbucks down the street.  Either way, the benefits are good..listening and all.  Here's to your New Year's promises.  Here's to your calling.   I hope it leads you to great things.  I hope you too will change the world.   Then you can stop by and tell us about it on our radio show. 

Tuesday, January 10, 2012
3:00 pm