2012

Happy New Year!


I am very excited to begin a new chapter.  I loved 2011!  It was full of travel, music, love, baseball, puppies and great big lessons.  Some years just plain ol' stink.  I had 2 of those.  One in 1994 and one in 1996.  When the big ball dropped, I said,  "Thank God" and shut off Dick Clark.  I think he was about 90 then.  No sign of him lately..is he still on this Earthly plane?  I remember the last time I saw him on the NYE special with Ryan Seacrest..I thought it was quite sad.  They kind of, if you'll excuse me, "propped him up" and stuck a mic in his face.  Poor dude.  Let him retire.  Let him do the count-down at the Happy Village for Retired Game Show Hosts and Moguls.  I'd watch it.  After what I saw on the count-down shows at 11:55 pm on New Year's Eve this year,  I would gladly take a less coherent and disoriented Dick Clark in his lazy-boy, over the terrible rap-ring-in and the cheesy country music special and the Carson Daily special.  Who is and what why where is Carson Daily?  Does anyone watch him?  He is as boring as  plain toast.  You know the kind.  The day you decide to give up butter.  That kind of toast.  You do not eat it right out of the toaster, you accidentally forget about it and then you eat it a bit cold with your coffee with no cream or sugar.  Because it's the New Year and your resolution was to give up good stuff that make your life taste good.  So yea, Carson Daily is kind of like that to me.  He has a late night show.  My friend Melinda Ann should have a late night show.  She should take over for Carson Daily.  I will not say his name again, for fear of falling asleep on my keyboard.  

I just checked Wikipedia and it is indeed true that Dick Clark is still alive.  Just wanted  you to know.

So I do not have any "In Stone" resolutions, as of yet.   I know the power of writing things down, so perhaps I will do that tomorrow, January 3rd instead of January 1st.  Ya see, I wanted to give up fast food (did not write it down though) and was starving after the Gruene Hall show yesterday and had a terrible late night snack from Burger King.  It was completely conscious.  I can not blame drinking for my lack of judgment.   I chose this burger.  I had dreams about the creepy King all night.  Someone told me that the King was booted, because of excessive  creepy-ness.  That face and robe.  Damn.  Now I will not sleep again.  It's a brilliant campaign, if you ask me.  Eat Burger King at 11:00 pm and images of their mascot will haunt you until you wake.   He will take you to fast food restaurants of the past, present and future.  He will tempt you with deep fried apple fries and creamy chocolate shakes.  He will remind you that you said in your car on the way to Gruene Hall,  when you  passed by, you flipped him off and said "suck it, King, our love affair is over".  He will dance that tights and slippers dance in your brain until you scream for him to stop.  When you finally awaken you find that you are clutching the bag that the evil lurked in, throw it on the ground and swear not to go near that place again. 

I will be fast food free in 2012.   I will occupy Whole Foods.   I will not dream of the King again.  Free at last free at last...I will write that down and begin tomorrow.   

Update:  Dick Clark is still alive.  Oh great.  Now Dick Clark is going to dance in my dreams tonight.  Dick and the King.  mmm..will not go there.   So.  Let's move on to something more meaningful and meaty.  Like a sweet burger from Whattaburger.  They do not have a creepy mascot, do they?  Perhaps..NO...I will not get in my car and drive 4 miles to get a burger.   Isn't it funny..as soon as we deprive ourselves from something, we crave it even more.   Sugar.  That's a fun one.  Try to give up sugar and see what kind of dreams you have.  Bread.  That's just plain stupid.   Wine.  Well..now I've gone too far.

  We had a wiffleball game the other day for Walt's birthday.  We were all enjoying the grocery store fried something,  when I looked over at my beautiful cousin, who is slim and healthy, eating an apple.  Who carries apples to a wiffleball game?  My slim and happy cousin does.  So does my friend Christy, who does not miss a day of running.  She was on vacation, had been enjoying adult beverages the night before and got up at 6 the next morning to run and hour and a half.  And apparently stop for apples.  For herself and my size 2-4 cousin.  They ate their little crunchy apples while we ate what appeared to be some kind of fried meat that was formed to look like chicken.   I felt like 2 bucks crawling into the jacuzzi that afternoon.  Christy and Jenny were probably enjoying their hot tub bikini talk sharing health related articles that they cut out while on their run through Fredericksburg.   You can do super human things when you eat apples.  I am not bitter.   Maybe a little rough around the edges when it comes to health these days.  It's been fun drinking beer and eating whatever crosses my plate..but now, seeing that I have apple envy, I must reign it in.  I must go back to being conscious about what I put in the pie hole.   Mmm. Pie.  Pie hole is funny.  I bet Carson Daily would even make pie hole sound boring.  Sorry, just fell asleep there for a moment.   So apples.  I will eat more apples this year.  No King,  More Apple.  Walking is good too.  Remember in the old days when I used to write about walking and middle schoolers and thoughts from the miles I logged?  I will do that too.  Because next year at the annual WW Birthday Wiffleball tournament (that you are all invited to), I will not reach for the fried leg of something.  I will have a bag, a bag, I tell ya, of fresh, juicy, red delicious apples to dive into and feel good about myself.  I will not delete your facebook photos that you are so lovely to post.  But I tell you, if I look an ounce bigger than Gwneneth Paltrow, I delete it.  If it is a skinny photo, I leave it.  If I look as old as Dick Clark might be, I delete it.   If I look tired, lonely, confused, bitter, angry, happy, loving, smelly, jumpy or drunk...I keep it.  Fat/Old=Gone.  So another resolution is to feel so great about myself, that I will not wake up at the crack of 6 to run to facebook and get rid the tags.  No offense, but I have an image to uphold.  I mean, what if old boyfriends stalk me..I want to look my very best.  No ground to ceiling shots either.  No one looks good from that view. 

So where were we.  Apples. Yes.  Is there a nice pinot made from apples?  Most likely not.  What time is it?  Is it January 3rd yet?  Do I have time to take a little drive before my resolutions kick in?  12:14am.  Dang.  I bet Christy  is dreaming  of dancing with Dr. Oz or that hot yoga guy whose name fails me because of excessive grease on the brain.  I bet Jenny dreams of dancing with that Mathew McConnahay and laugh lightly as they compare ab techniques.  I hope you find yourself dancing with Sting or  David Beckham  or if you are indeed a the one guy that reads my blog, Minka Kelly,  or some other starlet of the day.  I wish you great health, happiness and fun adventures in the New Year.   See you in the jacuzzi.



Tuesday,  January 3rd.  12:35 am