Walker

I say lets just enjoy each other. The company, the fun, the wild and the boring. Sometimes this skin feels foreign..like we have jumped into a strange film and we are the actors. Life is big..wondrous and amazing, isn't it? And sometimes it's just downright unexplainable. Too many days go by without acknowledging that we indeed have an expiration date. And that's OK. I think the majority of us want to block it out...not even think that it exists. But it all ends. Hopefully not until we are 99 like Walt's grandmother.. We pray we are given enough days to fulfill all of our dreams, see our children grow, play with our grandkids, travel the world and give back to the community with our talents and treasures.

Sometimes you get a punch in the gut to remind you to live, forgive and love. Live, Forgive and Love. The triple crown.

We sang at a funeral last week. Last Saturday at 10:00, in Sherman, Texas. Walt was supposed to be on a flight to New Jersey to attend his cousin's wedding, but he changed his plans to be with me, sing and play guitar for this lovely family. They had asked me to sing "Go Rest High on That Mountain"..for their son Walker's passing. Walker was 17 months old. He was diagnosed with a Malignant Rhabdoid Tumor last Sept. 11th.

We met Chad, Missey and Walker Rainey last October when we sang for The Parker County Pickin' Party..hosted by our friends, Troy and Sunny Austin. It was a beautiful evening. Wonderful people, abundant food and drink, big stage, lights in the trees. A perfect Texas night. I think I might have told you about that night and meeting the Raineys on my Valentine's Day blog. Briefly, I will remind you:

This was the 5th year for the Pickin' Party. The night not only featured music, but it would also benefit a charity that several of the organizers would choose. This year it would be for one of their own. Troy and Sunny's friends, The Raineys, found out not even a month before, that their only son was diagnosed with a tumor. At one point during the evening, The Raineys got up on stage and talked about their son. It was a beautiful, faith filled talk, with no pity attached. They were surrounded by tree lights in a huge oak tree, while they told us of the plan to fight this cancer. Their son just smiled and looked at the 200 or so people..and the lights. In the background, kids were running and laughing..in the foreground, grownups were crying. Those were our healthy, happy kids running and playing. Our hearts ached for that little family.

We were taken by this family. I got to look right into Walker's eyes. I would find out about a website that followed his journey..and pray for Walker and his parents. We all prayed for Walker.

We were blessed to get to know Chad and Missey during this long journey. I have never met more beautiful, trusting people. After I started following their walk on "Caringbridge.org", I found out that many many many parents are going through what The Raineys were going through. Not the exact same diagnosis, but still the unknown, the fear and the pain. I had to limit my reading to just Walker and one more little girl named Kate. I just could not read about any other children that were hurting.

We followed the ups and downs each time Missey would post what was happening in their world. She was so graceful with her words. She was always hopeful. She spoke highly of the care and the treatments Walker was receiving. She always signed off with "Faithful and Fighting". Finally after months and months of medicine and operations, there was nothing left to do except let go. They had to let go. A dose of their reality made me squeeze Luke a little longer..and it still does. When I heard that Walker had passed, I walked into Luke's room and stared at him for most of the night. Touched his skin. Smelled his hair. Thanked God our Father for such a remarkable miracle. Thanked God for my husband, family, friends, health, gifts, home, sun, moon, rain and everything else that would roll out with my tears. God bless that little family. Death hurts. I can not imagine..

So we sang "Go Rest High on That Mountain", somehow. We were a small part of a huge gathering of The Rainey's family, friends and acquaintances..coming together to give what we had to honor their son. Wishing that with one note, song, prayer, gift, hug, tear, we could relieve their pain.



So..go kiss someone. If you do not have anyone to kiss, go kiss yourself. Find a big mirror and kiss you. You are alive. You are here. You are a gift. A Gift. You are a gift to me and I am sure many other people as well. I will remind you, if you will remind me when we start to forget..deal? Deal.



www.caringbridge.org/visit/walkerrainey/journal if you would like to send Missey and Chad a note.




12:40 am Saturday August 21

Comments

  1. All I can say is Amen!!!

    God bless the Rainey family! They are in my prayers!

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  2. Thank you Tina for this beautiful reminder.

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  3. Tina, this touched something deep inside me. When I see my boys and my little 2 year old grandson, I'm gonna hug 'em all long and hard. It's so hard to remember sometimes that God is in control. Sounds like the Raineys knew that and accepted it with faith and grace. God bless them.

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  4. beautiful, Tina. what a strong reminder of how He blesses us. loved the "triple crown" of live, forgive and love. it all comes down to those things.

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  5. This makes my heart hurt. I spent my whole day rushing and herding my kids and not enough time enjoying them. Thanks for the reminder (and a few tears).

    I'm very happy the Rainey's found you. I know that having you involoved must have cast a little beauty on this painful time in their life.

    Thanks for being you. We are better for knowing you.

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