Team Spirit

Now what do we do? So the mighty Rangers lost. I would like to say they fought the good fight, but I really am not quite sure. It seems as if they got a little bit of the stage fright. The Giants played really well..and the pitching staff was amazing. Amazing is an over used word, I know, but truly..they were. Now that dude can shave that bird's nest he has growing on his face. I have seen only one "Family Guy" episode in my life, and it was the one when the dad kept growing a beard. Eventually it was inhabited by a family of birds. Then he couldn't shave it. What would happen to the aviary? I think maybe Brian Wilson was housing a few stow aways. Set them free oh closer of the gods.

It has been only 2 days since baseball ended and it seems like weeks. Man, I gotta get a hobby. Now we can actually share a meal at that thing in the kitchen that holds papers and mail.

Speaking of hobbies..I went to a craft show a few weekends ago with my mom. Walt was on the road and Luke was at the UT game with his buddy and his family. I thought I would be a good daughter and do what my mom wanted on this beautiful Saturday in October. It would give us a chance to hang out and not have it babysitter or gig related. Turns out it was a fund raiser for the local high school here in town. When I got there I was THRILLED to know it all benefited the baseball program!! Well then..lets go check out some CRAFTS! I tell ya, that is a good mom who started that fundraiser for her baseball playing child. Good mom. Really organized, zealous mom. I thought that buying some candy or some cookie dough from my child to raise money was being a good mom..no. This dynamo baseball loving mom had nearly 300 crafters beautifully housed and displayed all throughout the school. Is "crafters" the right title for all folks in the craft show? Sounds a bit silly..crafter. Maybe they should be called Hobbiests. Hobbeasts. Hobbits. Craft Agents. Craftologists. Crafitiqueros. Anyway...there were a lot. Lots of crafts. Lots of yarn. Lots of 12 dollar jelly.

I bound in (after paying a cover to buy crafts) (good for the team) (and perhaps Luke, in 6 years) and was automatically bombarded by a potpourri/popcorn/caramel/pumpkin/mothball/burned wood/leather/ironing/school gym/bad memories in the school gym/I need my inhaler/get me the f out of here feeling. Not a good way to start a craft day with mom. People were running toward the personalized bags. Granny's were pushing each other to get samples of the sugar pecans. Children were crying because they were forced to try on wool hats, when it was 90 outside. Men were tossed aside like a worn out dream or a 7th grade boyfriend or an old pair of last year's craft show knitted socks. It was hell I tell ya. Why didn't you warn me? You knew how I felt about scrap booking. You knew that I break out in hives when I have to shop for any type of clothing that has to be worn by me.

I slowly recovered from the shock of bad overhead lighting and the random foodness of it all. I slowly crept into the first room that didn't smell like baby. It was a plethora of women. All ages trying on scarves, hats and tutus for the little ones. It was covered in jewelry. There was nere a man to be found..except for the prisoners behind the booths. They all had that far away look in there eyes. If they could spell out h e l p me with their eyelids, they would. They wanted to go to the gun and ammo convention, but the wife had the craft show she has been knitting for, for a third of a year now. She also raised your family when you were in the service and moved 20 times for you. She would decorate each home knowing that it could be maybe a month down the line when she and the 5 kids under the age of 6 would have to pack it all up again and go to Arizona or Virginia or God forbid, Barstow. So you just sit there Mr. Craft guy and keep yer trap shut for the next 23 hours. She gave it all for you. Can't you just give her one ounce of joy?

Oh wait..that's how I felt. No, I didn't buy anything from that booth. It all looked like "Granny's Gone Wild." Knitting and tassels do not mix. Sparkly tassels. I find no humor in sparkly tassels.

Next we ran..ok..I ran...my mom sauntered, by the one in 1056 jewelry booths. My mom makes beautiful jewelry. She likes to tell EVERYONE that she makes her own jewelry and probably could of had a booth, but had sold soooo many pieces or gave them to me to give to my arteest friends, that she just couldn't keep up with the demand. Just what a crafter jewelry lady wants to hear. That her stuff is far inferior and way too expensive comparatively. She tried on some of the more interesting pieces..or photographed them with her hidden camera..and moved on. I think eventually she did purchase one necklace. Out of pity, I suppose.

I eventually bought something too. I know. I can't believe it either. I got caught, you see. Do not look the people in the eye. If you do, you spend. You have to have this "I'm just looking" vibe, and constant motion. Keep your phone in your hand. Act like somebody needs to talk to you. Keep rustling for something in your purse, like you are madly searching for your keys. Keep your sunglasses on, just to look cool. Act nervous or a.d.d or restless. But don't get caught. Then you buy things that you can not take back. Like at Kohls..nobody made the stuff, so you don't feel pressured into buying it..and if you do not like the stuff you were forced to buy out of guilt, you can take it back. No feelings hurt. So I bought a knit hat. With a flower. I tried it on, liked it and was going to put it down..when there it was. That look. I could not not buy it. I mean this kind woman worked days on this hat. She may have thought of how happy her life was now that she is retired and doing what she has always wanted to do. Knit and go to craft shows. So I bought in on emotion. I am not an impulse buyer. It took me 4 trips and a year to buy my new phone. (call me:) SO this was pure guilt and a little vanity. I paid for the flowery, knitted hat and put it in my bag and asked her.."How long did it take to knit this?" She said.."OH..I just make the flowers that go on the hat..the hat itself is from China". Nice. Some under age worker got paid 2 cents to knit my hat that this lady sold to me for 18 bucks. Luke could have made the flower. Thanks.

So the crafters are liars. They lie and force you to buy under the guise that they are responsible for all of that fluffy stuff. Shame on them and their leather burning tools. Oh wait, those folks actually made your belt right there. OK..one honest booth. But the rest of them..liars. That's probably not even their husbands rolling their eyes behind them. Affairs. Liars and cheaters. You think bars are bad. Go to a craft show...that's the true underbelly of society.

I need solace. Nothing a good ol sugar-y 7 dollar bag of pecans couldn't cure. They actually could use a portable bar in the food area. Maybe that will be my craft show entry next year. Homemade whiskey. That'll win me a ribbon.

Well.. I could go on, but I have insulted most of my mom's friends by now and will most likely not be getting any fudge for Christmas this year. There were a lot of beautiful and artistic booths there too. Crammed in between ribbons and bows and fluffle and tweed... but, most likely, all good people hoping to make a little dough for the holidays. Nothing wrong with that. Next year, along with my homemade hooch booth, maybe I will sell a cd or two. Wear my 18 dollar hat. Eat a bag or 3 of pecans. You know, for the team.


11:57 pm November 3rd

Comments

  1. Oh Tina! This was priceless. I refer to them as arts and crap shows. I'm there with you girl!

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  2. The Rangers gave it a nice run this year, but as they say good pitching will beat good hitting every time...and that is what happened. My daughter's friend in Arlington has reminded me often that the Rangers have one more world series win than the Astros.

    Chappell Hill has two festivals during the year (scarecrow and bluebonnet) I get the honor of driving to these festivals and following Karin around. Same vendors, same stuff, twice a year, fun, fun! Actually, I don't mind going, since I support the Chappell Hill volunteer fire department...You see, they sponsor the Beer Booth, and I visit it often!

    Keep up the blogging Tina, we look forward to it...your words always make me think of something funny in our lives over here in Houston!

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