Pup
Holy cow. I can't believe that it has been a month. OK, a month and a half. Travel, school starting, gigs all come to mind when I dig in my pocket for excuses. This one is really a good one though. Like, when you were in school and had to find some kind of excuse for not finishing a project on time or having to get out of taking a midterm...you came up with the perfect thing to bring out the empathy in any teacher. No, not the grandma's funeral or you were contagious or something like that. Something good like..you stayed up all night haunted by the beauty of the writings of Shakespeare and could not go to sleep. Your spirit was enraptured by the mystery and the depth of this genius, that you could not stop at just one book..so you.. read the complete works. You did not even eat. You did not drink..in fear of missing that crucial part..that word..that something that helps to makes sense of it all. You were so entranced by the sweetness of The Sonnets, the tragedy of Othello..King Lear..Romeo and Juliet... You even tried to lighten things up with A Mid Summer Night's Dream around 4 am...but no avail. How could I even begin to think about studying for the German test? (that you knew about for 6 weeks) So you drag yourself to class at 8am. Looking like hell..smelly..kind of pathetic and thin looking, with that forlorn look on your face. You slowly walk up to Mrs. Scheinbaumsteinerlecstenstein and begin to explain your quandary. Whether or not she believes you doesn't matter. If she gives you one more day..then it worked.
So you have given me a month and change. I thank you. So here is mine. We got a puppy.
I know. Not quite as romantic as Shakespeare, but still..I have not slept.
Part 2: Wednesday:
I have been writing in pieces..I read that a puppy needs to go "out" 10-15 times a day..so I am jumping in when I can. So. The sleeping is getting better. It has been 2 weeks and 2 days since we brought our "Ranger" home. He was going to be called "Astro" but since his favorite ball team traded Pence and Bourne..our son decided on calling him "Ranger". Astro was a tough "yell" name anyway. Asssssssssssssssssstro. The kids would have loved it. "Hey..ASSSS tro." " Did you know you have a dog with ASS in his name?" So Ranger is good. They only thing I have heard about Ranger is "Ranger-Danger". Not so bad. It's like when you meet a new parent..and their child is named something like..Dicky. You just can't help yourself. Even when you are 46. You have to say.."Really? It's 2011. You named your child "Dicky?" Do you think Uncle Richard really would have been mad if you named him..oh let's say..Billy? Tad? Mikey? Dicky. Good Luck Richard. I hope you are 6'10 and 240. You will need it.
Any-hooooo. So. Week one with Ranger. I thought I was going to die. I thought that I would take a walk in the middle of the night and accidentally let Ranger run off into the distance.. to find a farm..to find a meadow...to find a dog person that could actually understand puppy psychology. I was not a fit pup parent, for damn sure. My sister in law= pup parent. My friend Judy= pup parent. My friend Sawndra= pup parent. Me= loser. I was so overwhelmed, but put on the happy puppy face (because it was me that said.."Honey..a boy needs a dog. It will be great!!!"). Little did I realize how much my parents did for us when we had dogs. I remember having 3 puppies growing up. It was all lala and flooty- do because I did not have to get up at the crack of ass to let them out 14 times. I did not have to clean up the mess. I did not have to hang out with them all day..following them to every corner of the house to make sure they did not chew or eat or go or chew or eat or go or chew. I was at school..happily dreaming of puppy land where everything was fluffy and sparkling. Oh no. It was not reality. I was warned that it was hard. People shied away when I gleefully said.."We are getting a puppy!"..The books were a big help..and still are, but they do not assist when one puts the sweet faced doggie in the kennel so mama can go to the store...and suddenly it turns into a rabid raccoon, spitting and cussing you until you return 17 minutes later. The book did not warn me that the "Eco Friendly Kennel" would last approximately 6 minutes and then get chewed through, thus assisting the greatest puppy escape and poop fest in years.
Week 2: I have worn out my cousin Natalie and my mom. They each pup sat for us when I had 2 weekend gigs. Thank GOD for the gigs. I finally got some sleep. It was not on purpose that we got Ranger whilst I had gigs out of town booked..it just so happened that way. Again..thank God. Natalie did great. She is like the beautiful, 20 something , hip dog whisperer. She took care of Luke and Ranger. Then she went home after 21/2 days and slept for a week. My lovely mom on the other hand, took care of only Ranger for 22 hours. She will most likely watch him again in 2021. She had fun when he was asleep. All this said..he is a really sweet natured dog. He is a Standard Poodle and Llewellyn Setter mix. Beautiful combination of personality and energy. Sleeps great. Eats great. Runs..plays. All good. He is just..a ...puppy. A very smart smart blank slate..as they say. So we need to be conscious of how we speak, teach, play, run, jump, eat, sit on the couch, lay on the floor, lay on the bed, play guitar, do office work, clean the house, do laundry, sweep the front step, cuss out loud, kiss our man, play ball with our son, sing, sneeze and breathe. And cook. That's all. So if one is conscious of all of those things, while training your new puppy to be Zen like and good..you too will have a great dog in about 30 years.
And you must remember that dogs are pack animals. I am the alpha dog. That's right. Look at me. Alpha all the way. Alpha mama. That's me. I rule. I really felt alpha today on our walk. Walk is more of an overstatement. Let's call it a pull me/drag you instead. A pmdy for short. One square block. That's all I dream of. One square block. It took us hours. Truly hours. Sniff. Pull. Stop. Drag. Run. Pull. Sniff. Pee. Drag. Pull. I used to walk a 12 minute mile, children. I was speedy alpha mama race walker Wilkins. Today. I was lucky to get around the block before spring.
Major- Serious- Dog people are funny too. They actually do not speak directly to YOU anymore. They speak to the pup. They also speak through their own dog. For instance. (dog person) "Look here Mr. Snuggly..a new fwend to pway wiff" "What's your name wittle fwend?" mmm? " Mr. Snuggly would like to know your name.." (me) "It's ..um.. Rang.. I mean..um..Dicky. Yes, Dicky is his name.." (dog person) "Ohhhh..bye bye Mr. Dicky!! Hope to pway soon..with Dicky.."
OK. Maybe not alllllllll major serious dog people are like that. Just one weirdo in our neighborhood. But still. We are learning so much.
Week 2 and 2 days:
Sleep is good. Pup is good. Mama is good. Luke loves his pup. I am talking like a Dr. Seuss book, but all is good. For a while there I thought I would be shunned by my dog friends for lack of the Secret. Like to own a dog as an adult with a full functioning life, you had to know some kind of code that you whisper at 3 am while you are outside praying to the pee pee gods, and you are gifted an answer on how to make it through another day. But today, I feel pretty good. Got the laundry done. Actually said hi to our son. Made a meal other than All Natural Chicken and Lamb kibble. I think we are going to be alright. I just heard a little yawn coming from the kitchen. I better go open the door and let the pup out. Maybe later we will venture a walk. A good fetch. A fun game of chase.
Sending you joy and flip flops with puppy teeth marks,
Tuesday 2:20 pm September 20 and
Wednesday. 4:01 pm September 21.
So you have given me a month and change. I thank you. So here is mine. We got a puppy.
I know. Not quite as romantic as Shakespeare, but still..I have not slept.
Part 2: Wednesday:
I have been writing in pieces..I read that a puppy needs to go "out" 10-15 times a day..so I am jumping in when I can. So. The sleeping is getting better. It has been 2 weeks and 2 days since we brought our "Ranger" home. He was going to be called "Astro" but since his favorite ball team traded Pence and Bourne..our son decided on calling him "Ranger". Astro was a tough "yell" name anyway. Asssssssssssssssssstro. The kids would have loved it. "Hey..ASSSS tro." " Did you know you have a dog with ASS in his name?" So Ranger is good. They only thing I have heard about Ranger is "Ranger-Danger". Not so bad. It's like when you meet a new parent..and their child is named something like..Dicky. You just can't help yourself. Even when you are 46. You have to say.."Really? It's 2011. You named your child "Dicky?" Do you think Uncle Richard really would have been mad if you named him..oh let's say..Billy? Tad? Mikey? Dicky. Good Luck Richard. I hope you are 6'10 and 240. You will need it.
Any-hooooo. So. Week one with Ranger. I thought I was going to die. I thought that I would take a walk in the middle of the night and accidentally let Ranger run off into the distance.. to find a farm..to find a meadow...to find a dog person that could actually understand puppy psychology. I was not a fit pup parent, for damn sure. My sister in law= pup parent. My friend Judy= pup parent. My friend Sawndra= pup parent. Me= loser. I was so overwhelmed, but put on the happy puppy face (because it was me that said.."Honey..a boy needs a dog. It will be great!!!"). Little did I realize how much my parents did for us when we had dogs. I remember having 3 puppies growing up. It was all lala and flooty- do because I did not have to get up at the crack of ass to let them out 14 times. I did not have to clean up the mess. I did not have to hang out with them all day..following them to every corner of the house to make sure they did not chew or eat or go or chew or eat or go or chew. I was at school..happily dreaming of puppy land where everything was fluffy and sparkling. Oh no. It was not reality. I was warned that it was hard. People shied away when I gleefully said.."We are getting a puppy!"..The books were a big help..and still are, but they do not assist when one puts the sweet faced doggie in the kennel so mama can go to the store...and suddenly it turns into a rabid raccoon, spitting and cussing you until you return 17 minutes later. The book did not warn me that the "Eco Friendly Kennel" would last approximately 6 minutes and then get chewed through, thus assisting the greatest puppy escape and poop fest in years.
Week 2: I have worn out my cousin Natalie and my mom. They each pup sat for us when I had 2 weekend gigs. Thank GOD for the gigs. I finally got some sleep. It was not on purpose that we got Ranger whilst I had gigs out of town booked..it just so happened that way. Again..thank God. Natalie did great. She is like the beautiful, 20 something , hip dog whisperer. She took care of Luke and Ranger. Then she went home after 21/2 days and slept for a week. My lovely mom on the other hand, took care of only Ranger for 22 hours. She will most likely watch him again in 2021. She had fun when he was asleep. All this said..he is a really sweet natured dog. He is a Standard Poodle and Llewellyn Setter mix. Beautiful combination of personality and energy. Sleeps great. Eats great. Runs..plays. All good. He is just..a ...puppy. A very smart smart blank slate..as they say. So we need to be conscious of how we speak, teach, play, run, jump, eat, sit on the couch, lay on the floor, lay on the bed, play guitar, do office work, clean the house, do laundry, sweep the front step, cuss out loud, kiss our man, play ball with our son, sing, sneeze and breathe. And cook. That's all. So if one is conscious of all of those things, while training your new puppy to be Zen like and good..you too will have a great dog in about 30 years.
And you must remember that dogs are pack animals. I am the alpha dog. That's right. Look at me. Alpha all the way. Alpha mama. That's me. I rule. I really felt alpha today on our walk. Walk is more of an overstatement. Let's call it a pull me/drag you instead. A pmdy for short. One square block. That's all I dream of. One square block. It took us hours. Truly hours. Sniff. Pull. Stop. Drag. Run. Pull. Sniff. Pee. Drag. Pull. I used to walk a 12 minute mile, children. I was speedy alpha mama race walker Wilkins. Today. I was lucky to get around the block before spring.
Major- Serious- Dog people are funny too. They actually do not speak directly to YOU anymore. They speak to the pup. They also speak through their own dog. For instance. (dog person) "Look here Mr. Snuggly..a new fwend to pway wiff" "What's your name wittle fwend?" mmm? " Mr. Snuggly would like to know your name.." (me) "It's ..um.. Rang.. I mean..um..Dicky. Yes, Dicky is his name.." (dog person) "Ohhhh..bye bye Mr. Dicky!! Hope to pway soon..with Dicky.."
OK. Maybe not alllllllll major serious dog people are like that. Just one weirdo in our neighborhood. But still. We are learning so much.
Week 2 and 2 days:
Sleep is good. Pup is good. Mama is good. Luke loves his pup. I am talking like a Dr. Seuss book, but all is good. For a while there I thought I would be shunned by my dog friends for lack of the Secret. Like to own a dog as an adult with a full functioning life, you had to know some kind of code that you whisper at 3 am while you are outside praying to the pee pee gods, and you are gifted an answer on how to make it through another day. But today, I feel pretty good. Got the laundry done. Actually said hi to our son. Made a meal other than All Natural Chicken and Lamb kibble. I think we are going to be alright. I just heard a little yawn coming from the kitchen. I better go open the door and let the pup out. Maybe later we will venture a walk. A good fetch. A fun game of chase.
Sending you joy and flip flops with puppy teeth marks,
Wednesday. 4:01 pm September 21.
So precious! :) Congrats on the new family member! And I feel ya 100%! As you know, I have a cat and a guinea pig. Ironically, the cat, who runs around free all day and can get into just about anything, is way less difficult to deal with than the 8-inch furball who stays in a cage all day! They both know when I get up in the morning...as soon as I blink they both start crying for food. As soon as I get home from work at night...you guessed it, both cry for food. My cat sounds like a car horn when she's crying for food...kinda cute at first, then just plain annoying! But the guinea pig...oooooh that guinea pig! His "I'm hungry" shrieking reaches decibels that should not be audible to human ears! Oh but I thank my lucky, lucky stars that my cat is potty trained and knows how to use a litter box and ONLY a litter box! I've had cats all my life and have NEVER had an indoor cat for that very reason. As tough as it is to deal with them sometimes though, I just adore them! :) Yay for annoyingly wonderful animals who make our lives just a little more interesting ;)
ReplyDeleteHA! I've got the puppy teeth marked flip flops as well!
ReplyDelete