Wedding Singer

Weddings are funny.  People all dressed and pressed, stressed and you guessed, acting their best for one big day or evening.   The last few weddings we have been a part of have been as an honorable  "working guest".  This is when we are asked to sing a tune or two for the big event.  Either for the wedding itself, the reception or both.  It is an honor to sing at  friend's weddings.  It is always a lovely occasion and everyone is happy, I would say 98% of the time.   This last weekend we were asked to sing at 2 weddings.  One on a rainy Friday night and the other on the first coolish Saturday night in September.   Both for friends who started out as music fans.  

The weddings were as sweet as can be.  Both were very pretty, beautifully attended and had the most calm brides, ever.  Even the bride's moms were cool.  Sometimes you can feel the tension when you are asked to sing at weddings.  It is easy to stand back and watch the real life drama unfold before God, friends and relatives.  As a singer/guest, you are kind of looked upon as a part of the show, but not really.  You are not the lead..yet your part is important..for an undivided 3 minutes during the ceremony.   The bride and groom look over at you, while you sing their song of choice for that perfect moment.  The officiant looks in your direction and nods.  You look at your accompanist/husband and he begins to play.  You sing & sometimes you use a cheat sheet with the lyrics, because the bride wants you to sing an REO Speedwagon song instead of The Lord's Prayer.   You smile and sing like it is the most important song in the world.  And it is.  No matter what genre the couple wants at their holy ceremony.  In your head you might be thinking..."Out of all of the songs in this blessed Universe, why would you choose this terrible 80's, adult contemporary, Casey Kasem reject, for your wedding?"  "I mean REO Speedwagon is the hairband's hairband."  " I know they continue to tour the world,  changing band members as they retire, rehashing the same old songs, singing to an aging audience  trying to relive that special moment they had in high school,  but why why do you need this song on your biggest day, so far,  of your lives?"

   But I keep on singing.  The bride cries, the husband hugs, the vows are said, the kiss is kissed and the couple is wed.   All is right with the world.   

(For the record..neither bride this past weekend asked us to sing REO Speedwagon.  I do not think they were born when said band was even mildly rockin.)

 You are a guest, but you also have a gig.. so there is no hitting the bar.  Oh how you would like to hit the bar, especially when you have to sing a song or two at the reception as well.   This is a high-pressure gig, trying to make the guests of honor happier than they have ever been in their young lives.  You want this to be a memorable day.  Memorable in a good way.  So you would like a cocktail  because sometimes you sing at the reception and you might have to use the band's (who has been hired to play the reception) equipment and the girl singer in the band automatically hates you, because you asked if she wouldn't mind if you used her spot to sing to the bride and groom.  She reluctantly says, "yeah", and then stands 1 foot behind you, breathing down your neck like a komoto dragon.    The old me would try to be her friend and want her to like me and appreciate me as an arteeest and a treasured,  special guest of the wedding.  I mean, I have been requested to sing at the reception... for one song.  One song in a whole night full of songs.  One meaningful song, in a whole evening of "White Wedding", "I've Had the Time of My Life" & "Shout."     The old me would graciously thank her and clean her mic with an alcohol wipe after I used it to sing for the 1st dance.   The old me would thank her publicly for letting me take 2 minutes and 30 seconds of her stage time, to sing for the very people that hired her.    The new me would sing, walk past her cranky ass and not tell her I  had garlic before the song.  

(For the record..again..not all girls in wedding bands are like her.. I have a lot of friends who sing in wedding bands and they are quite nice.  And talented.  And successful...digging...digging.)

So there is drama all around, but beautifully masked, at weddings.  

    Sometimes the drama hides in the friends and relatives.  Sometimes it shows up.  Sometimes someone feels like it is their job to create shit where there wasn't any before.  This can surface in a hungover bride's maid or a scruffy uncle groomsman.    Sometimes the drama comes from the coordinator.  Stressie McControlly.    Making sure everything runs on time,  in perfect order and  with no mishaps.    That's where the beauty of the ring bearer and the flower girl come in.   The ring bearer, usually 9, dressed in a little guy tux, a relative of the wedding party and the flower girl, usually 5, no sleep, hungry and dressed like a fluffy pink marshmallow, are supposed to walk down the aisle together, bringing smiles to everyone they walk by.  But this tradition is kind of like a glimpse into the future, if you will.    Ring bearer:  Confident male, not that comfortable with public attention, but maintains his composure anyway, leading the little fluffy marshmallow down the long walk of life, to hopefully a beautiful lifetime of laughter, adoration from the masses and a safe place to land.   The Flower girl:  Throwing herself on the floor because she lost a shoe, spilling the flowers so sweetly tucked into the basket, screaming, crying and laughing similtainiously and not knowing why.   Ring bearer trying to calm her down, only to be yelled at and then runs to her mother for comfort.    Metaphor?  Maybe.  Reading too deeply into things?  Probably.  But thank God for that little tradition...it always makes people laugh, smile and if you're like me..cry.  I love the little bridey and groomlet.   I will never say that again.

There have been a few instances when I have been asked to sing at a wedding and it just feels wrong.  Not me singing, but the whole deal in and of itself.  No one is really diggin' the idea of this couple being together.   You just hope and pray that someone does not object when the time to say so comes up.  Do they still do that?  I do not think that either of the weddings recently had that part in the ceremony.  Is it an option?   Does one pay extra to have it in?  Or taken out?    Maybe seeing that we are in the reality TV age, people do not want their failed wedding day to be on U Tube.    Scruffy Uncle Groomsman Speaks Out.   Drunk Bridesmaid Ruins Ceremony.    It all comes up on the Yahoo!  front page.   And it's your wedding.  Congrats!  You have 10.000 hits.

So you sing "Endless Love" and then pray that it does indeed last.  

I think my favorite wedding song choice was for my cousin's wedding, 19 years ago.  She chose, "Signed, Sealed, Delivered"!   Bold, original and certainly cool.   I think the bride and groom danced as they left the ceremony.  They are still going strong too.   That was a fun wedding.

So bless the couples that got married last weekend.   Bless all of you who are heading that way.  I know that the greatest day ever, is the day after it's all over..and you get to eat left over wedding cake in your underwear,  turn the music up loud and dance with your beloved.    I don't think anyone would object to that.


"You set my soul on fire
That's why I know you're my heart's only desire
Ooo baby, here I am
Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm yours
-Stevie Wonder


Sunday, September 29 2013   10:26 pm






Comments

  1. It could be worse...you could be the sister of the groom who showed up to his wedding wearing two skirts - one of which was around your ankles. No that did not really happen. Nope. Nope. Nope.

    Nope.

    *sigh*

    Yay weddings!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Terrific description. Unfortunate that some will someday be going to the now law firm of 'Bridey and Groomlet' to try to make it all go away....

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  3. I’ll always be grateful that you sang at my wedding – remember when “At Last” was an original choice? I was almost 40 and thought is was appropriate. Now I hear it all the time – even for young brides!

    I probably never told you how much I appreciated your willingness to sing at a wedding so soon after your dad’s passing. I wanted to say something at the time …acknowledge it his absence in some way… everybody felt it, I’m sure. A toast at least to a good man, sorely missed, gone too soon. But at the time, I was afraid of saying the wrong thing (I’m known for that). But I’ll always remember. Thank you.
    CC

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