side street
I just put my hair in a pony tail on the side of my head. For some reason it made me laugh..to think about how I thought that it was cool to do this at one point in my life. Why not tonight? It's 1 am..who's going to see me? I am wearing a side pony. Like it's going to bring me back to the 80's..a time that I particularly didn't love, but what the hell. Maybe it will jog something in me to write about.
I have been here, on and off, in front of the computer for a few hours now. I started writing about many different things. After re-reading, they sounded a little too life coachy. No offense to my friends who are officially Life Coaches..but I for one am not. And I definitely should not be masquerading around like I am one. Here in the safety of this office, surrounded by art, Cd's and instruments..I do not have the tools of Life Coach. I do not have a laptop..or a fancy cell phone..or an app for anything..except a good steak. I do not have the books or the education to be a coach. I have a bowl of Lucky Charms with the new mini charms (because the big ones leave too much of the "real" cereal to be eaten.) They created more charms per spoonful. I know. I am eating them, with my side ponytail. So that is what you would have received..a fashion NO and a Whole Foods NO telling you how to dig deep, have empathy for others and live your life to the fullest.
No, I 'm not going to do that to you today. (my guess is that you will be reading this in the morning or afternoon..not at 2am tonight) (you are all respectable working folks with important jobs) (and I thank you) No, I am just going to wish you this:
Go back. Go back to that time you were sitting in that parking lot. (now I am a hypnotist) Or maybe that street right around the corner from your house. You didn't want to sit in the car in front of your house, because you knew that your mom or dad would still be up, waiting for you to come in from your big night out. You knew that if they saw a car on the on the front curb, they would turn on the porch light and look out through the window on the door or even worse, open the door and peek out in their robe and curlers. They may even kind of yell your name.."Tina?" "Is that you?"
No, you were smart enough to say.."Let's stop here." So there you are. Nervous from an innocent night out. Maybe you went to dinner or a movie or just a coffee. Me, I probably went for a shake, but that's beside the point and a sad descent to chubville and no dates..again..another time..another story.. OK..so here you are in the car. You can smell the interior mixed with that Christmas tree hanging from the mirror and perfume. And you are nervous. This might be it. You might actually.. kiss.
GOD! Remember that feeling? That great excitement, hope and prayer that finally is coming true. Talking about nothing..both waiting for each other to lean over. Your heart beating wildly. The cool air seeping in through the windows. (Or the hot air if this was to take place lets say, in Austin..if that was the case you would probably be smart enough to open the window. But anyway..) So one of you leans. Or both of you lean and then you need to move your arm because it's right in the way, and then you turn your bodies in that weird uncomfortable way in the front seat, over the middle section to finally, finally, butterflies flyin', radio is playing..kiss. And if you are really lucky, you kiss for a long time. So long that you have to hide the beard stubble burn on your chin, from your folks, the next day at breakfast. And the smile. You have to hide the smile. But you go all day, trying to relive the moment right before the moment, because that is when it was perfect. Angels and stars floating around in your head all day. You probably have chores to do, and you do them with ease with no argument, because you just want to swim in the feeling..no matter what the cost.
This is what I wish for you today. I wish you a day of that feeling.
From your sideponycharmcoach.
1:41 am
I have been here, on and off, in front of the computer for a few hours now. I started writing about many different things. After re-reading, they sounded a little too life coachy. No offense to my friends who are officially Life Coaches..but I for one am not. And I definitely should not be masquerading around like I am one. Here in the safety of this office, surrounded by art, Cd's and instruments..I do not have the tools of Life Coach. I do not have a laptop..or a fancy cell phone..or an app for anything..except a good steak. I do not have the books or the education to be a coach. I have a bowl of Lucky Charms with the new mini charms (because the big ones leave too much of the "real" cereal to be eaten.) They created more charms per spoonful. I know. I am eating them, with my side ponytail. So that is what you would have received..a fashion NO and a Whole Foods NO telling you how to dig deep, have empathy for others and live your life to the fullest.
No, I 'm not going to do that to you today. (my guess is that you will be reading this in the morning or afternoon..not at 2am tonight) (you are all respectable working folks with important jobs) (and I thank you) No, I am just going to wish you this:
Go back. Go back to that time you were sitting in that parking lot. (now I am a hypnotist) Or maybe that street right around the corner from your house. You didn't want to sit in the car in front of your house, because you knew that your mom or dad would still be up, waiting for you to come in from your big night out. You knew that if they saw a car on the on the front curb, they would turn on the porch light and look out through the window on the door or even worse, open the door and peek out in their robe and curlers. They may even kind of yell your name.."Tina?" "Is that you?"
No, you were smart enough to say.."Let's stop here." So there you are. Nervous from an innocent night out. Maybe you went to dinner or a movie or just a coffee. Me, I probably went for a shake, but that's beside the point and a sad descent to chubville and no dates..again..another time..another story.. OK..so here you are in the car. You can smell the interior mixed with that Christmas tree hanging from the mirror and perfume. And you are nervous. This might be it. You might actually.. kiss.
GOD! Remember that feeling? That great excitement, hope and prayer that finally is coming true. Talking about nothing..both waiting for each other to lean over. Your heart beating wildly. The cool air seeping in through the windows. (Or the hot air if this was to take place lets say, in Austin..if that was the case you would probably be smart enough to open the window. But anyway..) So one of you leans. Or both of you lean and then you need to move your arm because it's right in the way, and then you turn your bodies in that weird uncomfortable way in the front seat, over the middle section to finally, finally, butterflies flyin', radio is playing..kiss. And if you are really lucky, you kiss for a long time. So long that you have to hide the beard stubble burn on your chin, from your folks, the next day at breakfast. And the smile. You have to hide the smile. But you go all day, trying to relive the moment right before the moment, because that is when it was perfect. Angels and stars floating around in your head all day. You probably have chores to do, and you do them with ease with no argument, because you just want to swim in the feeling..no matter what the cost.
This is what I wish for you today. I wish you a day of that feeling.
From your sideponycharmcoach.
1:41 am
Boy oh boy did you bring back some memories and feelings. Thank you for making me smile a big ole smile this early in the morning. Ahhh...youth...and the privileges of youth! how quickly it all passes...just the way God intended...
ReplyDeleteand I so remember side ponytails but I have to disagree with you on the Lucky Charms, I am a Fruity Pebbles girl. :)
WOW what a way to start the morning!! you know not one of us can forget that special moment, place in time that's burried some where in the cobwebbed matter called our brain.. then .... a side ponytailed gal reaches back into that cobwebbed matter~~brings it front and center, but Woo wee pretty good way to start the day. Won't need my exercise routine this AM, with all this brain activity who needs it. ..See ya soon Patricia
ReplyDeletethis is so sweet & so good. thank you my friend! this made a difference in my day :) xoxo autumn
ReplyDeleteI love it! For Halloween last year, I dressed as "13 Going on 30" (one of my favorite movies!). It was actually pretty awesome...I raided Goodwill & sewed together two outfits (one very businessy, and one totally 80's preteen). Then I did my hair and makeup half 80s, half 30 year old. The 80s half of me, of course had the poofy side ponytail with the crazy colorful scrunchies. It was so much fun! Almost made me sad that I never actually dressed like that in the 80s! I was the proud owner (and frequent user) of the crimper though! And I had the quintessential pink stereo (excuse me, boom box) :p Ahhhhh...the good ole days!
ReplyDelete