corona
Well..I did it today. It reached 90 degrees, so I thought.."What the hell"..and tried on the dreaded Corona bikini. A year or so ago I posted a blog about how my sweet husband purchased a tiny bikini with the Corona label silk screened on it..about 4 years ago, for me. I will try to connect to myspace or simply just copy it, so I won't bore you with the details all over again.
So..yeah. I tried it on. I was feeling really optimistic. Why? Why? Well..I have been working out. Ok, here and there, but actually sweating and aching. I also even gave up junk (for about 15 days). I am trying a different kind of workout. Not just walking.
When one is training for a marathon or a 1/2 marathon there are equal parts eating and training. At least for me there is. There is no deprivation. Lots of carbs and whatever else food wise, that reaches my mouth. I live pretty healthfully..not too much sugar, salt etc..all the fun stuff. But when you race walk 4-6 miles a day and 2x's that on the weekends..ya don't want to think about eating lettuce and balsamic vinegar. So even when I stopped training in the winter ..I kept enjoying the benefits of eating. Well..all of a sudden here comes April. We experienced many cool days. It was a glorious Spring. Flowers, rain, clouds 65 degrees. Then there was that one day, when everyone wore shorts, tiny tops and yes..Bikinis. That one day at Barton Springs Pool. Damn. Is it summer already? I was just enjoying this parka that I snuggled in for the last 4 months. I was hibernating. And now, I was sweating. I was sweating while the University of Texas girls giggled and jogged in their teeny tiny hippie bathing suits. They were happy about early summer weather. They did not hibernate. They worked out all winter..just waiting for this day. Luke said.."Mama..maybe this year you will wear your bikini". I pushed him in the 68 degree pool. "Maybe you should watch where you are going"..ok..I didn't do or say that..but jeeze..lay off, little dude. Mama likes to sweat in the 85 degree heat in the shade. See? (picture me like a character on Sponge Bob, fake smiling and sweating profusely..while everyone is frolicking in the cool water)
Why does the bikini vex me? (picture me holding my head right now, like a crazed woman in a black and white movie on Turner Classics) I like that word Vex. No one uses it these days. Maybe I should look it up. Maybe I should get a little more off course and write about skippy happy lala things instead of my own lack of self confidence.
So I tried it on. I will remind you..or just tell you if you haven't read me before...I have NEVER shown my midriff (ok..who AM I? vex? midriff? somehow I turned into June Cleaver) in public. I was not blessed with an "outie". I like steak. I am from Wisconsin. I am Irish, Polish and German. Drink, Polka and Sausage. Sure I lived in sunny California..but even then..I kept my Midwestern roots and body. Only a few times was I close to looking like the ideal California girl, running on the beach. Once, when I lost a bunch of weight entering my senior year. (got the flu..saw I lost weight and figured out if I don't eat burritos and chimichungas everyday, I might actually get a boyfriend) and one other time when I got married and divorced in the same year. That will get the weight off. Also ruin your credit score and keep you in debt for years. Oh wait..that was just my experience. But I was a size 4. I am really not as obsessed with my body as I once was. That is the great thing about being married to a man who loves me and says I am beautiful and says he likes plus sized women (kidding about that one)....and perhaps being in my 40s. I just got tired of the battle in my brain about good food bad food blah blah blah. Now, I eat, have a beverage and walk.... a lot. Seems to work. Except for one hour ago. Cor ona does not look cute on mama.
Last Monday our friend Ron said "You are like a miracle". It made me float all day. I loved everyone. Puppies loved me. Teenagers thought I was cool. Butterflies surrounded me. All I did was sing (ok...I kicked ass in the studio)...and Ron, who is really one of the kindest humans we know, gave me a supreme compliment. The same week our good friends had a baby. I got to hold Emma, who was 3 hours old. 2 amazing things. Why isn't that enough? Why isn't being a miracle (which truly, we alllllll are) and actually holding one, the center of our being at all times? "Hello Miracle" "How are you today?" " Oh I am fabulous!!" I am alive..I am a thriving human walking and breathing and talking and experiencing this amazing place called Earth!"
But no. We have to get Victoria's Secret Bikini Blowout catalogue in the mail the next hour. Everything 1/2 off. f off.
Ok..so here is what I predict: I will wear the Corona Bikini on July 4th or I will auction it off at our Luckenbach show that same day..for charity. Either way, I have got to let this thing go. Who's with me? (don't know what that means either..but it sounded "Rally" and "June Cleaver "like)
May 4 2010 6:22 pm 90 degrees.
So..yeah. I tried it on. I was feeling really optimistic. Why? Why? Well..I have been working out. Ok, here and there, but actually sweating and aching. I also even gave up junk (for about 15 days). I am trying a different kind of workout. Not just walking.
When one is training for a marathon or a 1/2 marathon there are equal parts eating and training. At least for me there is. There is no deprivation. Lots of carbs and whatever else food wise, that reaches my mouth. I live pretty healthfully..not too much sugar, salt etc..all the fun stuff. But when you race walk 4-6 miles a day and 2x's that on the weekends..ya don't want to think about eating lettuce and balsamic vinegar. So even when I stopped training in the winter ..I kept enjoying the benefits of eating. Well..all of a sudden here comes April. We experienced many cool days. It was a glorious Spring. Flowers, rain, clouds 65 degrees. Then there was that one day, when everyone wore shorts, tiny tops and yes..Bikinis. That one day at Barton Springs Pool. Damn. Is it summer already? I was just enjoying this parka that I snuggled in for the last 4 months. I was hibernating. And now, I was sweating. I was sweating while the University of Texas girls giggled and jogged in their teeny tiny hippie bathing suits. They were happy about early summer weather. They did not hibernate. They worked out all winter..just waiting for this day. Luke said.."Mama..maybe this year you will wear your bikini". I pushed him in the 68 degree pool. "Maybe you should watch where you are going"..ok..I didn't do or say that..but jeeze..lay off, little dude. Mama likes to sweat in the 85 degree heat in the shade. See? (picture me like a character on Sponge Bob, fake smiling and sweating profusely..while everyone is frolicking in the cool water)
Why does the bikini vex me? (picture me holding my head right now, like a crazed woman in a black and white movie on Turner Classics) I like that word Vex. No one uses it these days. Maybe I should look it up. Maybe I should get a little more off course and write about skippy happy lala things instead of my own lack of self confidence.
So I tried it on. I will remind you..or just tell you if you haven't read me before...I have NEVER shown my midriff (ok..who AM I? vex? midriff? somehow I turned into June Cleaver) in public. I was not blessed with an "outie". I like steak. I am from Wisconsin. I am Irish, Polish and German. Drink, Polka and Sausage. Sure I lived in sunny California..but even then..I kept my Midwestern roots and body. Only a few times was I close to looking like the ideal California girl, running on the beach. Once, when I lost a bunch of weight entering my senior year. (got the flu..saw I lost weight and figured out if I don't eat burritos and chimichungas everyday, I might actually get a boyfriend) and one other time when I got married and divorced in the same year. That will get the weight off. Also ruin your credit score and keep you in debt for years. Oh wait..that was just my experience. But I was a size 4. I am really not as obsessed with my body as I once was. That is the great thing about being married to a man who loves me and says I am beautiful and says he likes plus sized women (kidding about that one)....and perhaps being in my 40s. I just got tired of the battle in my brain about good food bad food blah blah blah. Now, I eat, have a beverage and walk.... a lot. Seems to work. Except for one hour ago. Cor ona does not look cute on mama.
Last Monday our friend Ron said "You are like a miracle". It made me float all day. I loved everyone. Puppies loved me. Teenagers thought I was cool. Butterflies surrounded me. All I did was sing (ok...I kicked ass in the studio)...and Ron, who is really one of the kindest humans we know, gave me a supreme compliment. The same week our good friends had a baby. I got to hold Emma, who was 3 hours old. 2 amazing things. Why isn't that enough? Why isn't being a miracle (which truly, we alllllll are) and actually holding one, the center of our being at all times? "Hello Miracle" "How are you today?" " Oh I am fabulous!!" I am alive..I am a thriving human walking and breathing and talking and experiencing this amazing place called Earth!"
But no. We have to get Victoria's Secret Bikini Blowout catalogue in the mail the next hour. Everything 1/2 off. f off.
Ok..so here is what I predict: I will wear the Corona Bikini on July 4th or I will auction it off at our Luckenbach show that same day..for charity. Either way, I have got to let this thing go. Who's with me? (don't know what that means either..but it sounded "Rally" and "June Cleaver "like)
May 4 2010 6:22 pm 90 degrees.
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ReplyDeleteHere is my favorite quote/poem. Maybe you've read it before, but it really rings home for me...
ReplyDelete“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, talented or fabulous?” Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. As we let our own light shine, we inconspicuously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~Marianne Williamson
I sincerely wish I didn't, and I really try not to, struggle with the aging thing...but I won't lie and say it doesn't bother me. I know it is wrong and vain and all of that and it makes me feel even guiltier. (is that a word?)...more guilty. I love the VS comment--1/2 off, f off!
ReplyDeleteI hear you! I've been so good about working out this year and have lost 30+ pounds even (getting a dog is a good workout incentive - wear that puppy out!). But when I put on a bikini and stand in front of a mirror. Gahhhh! No way. And then I swear to Allah, I get 4 or 5 of those VS catalogs a week. Man.
ReplyDeleteOh girl!! I had not read this post. You will wear that bikini on July 4th. You are officially committed now. You will not remain frightened of your light (thanks for that quote Robbyn), but will instead liberate all of us with your Corona!!! I can't wait! ;)
ReplyDeleteYou are BEAUTIFUL! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I was a size 4 not too long ago...I will get there again! It might entail lipo or plastic surgery, though! Hahahahahaha...
ReplyDelete