dogs and kids

This dog is driving me crazy today.   He is breathing on me.  Following me.  Finding random weird things to chew on so I will hear it..stop what I am doing and fish it out of his mouth.  I actually do not stick my finger in his mouth, I carefully separate the top and the bottom and kind of shake his fluffy head until it drops to the floor.  Today it was a rock.  And a flip flop.  And a stick that was holding up a part of an indoor plant.  And a top of a water bottle.  My favorite red pillow.   Marlee's sock.  Luke's shoe.  Pants.  Any trash he can get out of the office waste basket.   He is doing this because he got in big trouble today. 

I took him for 2 good walks today.  It was 75 degrees and just beautiful.  We had the windows open so the breeze could come on in.  I put the pup in the backyard to enjoy the weather.  I then proceeded to call TX Tag..the local toll road authorities..to chat to them about friendly things like why we have two $80.00 bills..and why we are receiving bills regarding a vehicle that we sold 2 years ago.  Fun things like that.  While I was on the phone for 30+ minutes, the dog scratched on the door.  Over and Over and Over and Over and Over and Over.   It was 75 degrees, birds were flying and tweeting, bees were buzzing, a slight breeze was in the air, our grass is even kind of green.  It was a perfect day to be a dog, outside on this,  the 1st day of February.  You are a dog.  Enjoy it.  You are fed, walked, and loved.  Let me talk to the TX Tag guy with out hearing scratchscratchscratchpausescratchscratchpausescratchscratchscratch.  I tried to ignore it thinking that he would stop.  He did finally stop.  I walked into the kitchen and saw his head poking through the screen in the window.  His big head stuck in the screen.  He scratched the screen  until it tore and poked his bigass head in, thinking he could just waltz on through and everything would be dandy.  Well. I. Was. Mad.   Really mad.  The neighbors got an earful..I took his head out of the screen..took the screen off of the window and remembered that I was still on the phone with the TX Tag guy.  Nice.  Crazy lady on the phone complaining about her bills.    What makes a dog do this?  Why is he so needy?  Why can you not enjoy the gift of just being a dog?  Why must you try to be a people?  House is not fun on 75 degree days.  I just work and do laundry and boring stuff like that.  Outside you can run and chase butterflies and fight with the neighbor dogs.  Be the dog.  Be the dog.

So all day he's been breathing on me.  Right now he is gnawing on something under my feet.  Maddening.   I think he is going through puberty.  He must have heard me talking about the big snip the other day and is now on high alert.  Poking your head through the screen will not keep you away from the cone, my dear.  You will soon be wearing the cone of shame..and have no huevos.  Pretty harsh.  I guess I would be kind of needy too, if I knew that was coming. 

Ah puberty.  The great emotional rollercoaster planning on making a stop on Country Squire Drive.  I can see signs of it with Luke and his friends.  Mostly girl-friends or friends that are girls.  He tends to hang out with friends who like to play sports.  A year ago he would play with anyone who would pitch to him.  This year you kind of have to be good.  He doesn't suffer poor athleticism lightly.  But yes..there are signs of it coming.  Looming, if you will.  He is 10.  The other night I threatened him with this:  " Do your homework or else I will talk about puberty".  And he laughed and did his homework.  Then he said,  "Tell me one thing about it".  Damn.  Backfired.  Thought I could throw the pass to Walt.  So I said.."Pretty soon you will have to wear deoderant.  You will also have hair growing in places you would never thought needed hair."  That was enough to keep him quiet until 16 I think. 

Side note.  Dog chewing so loudly that I can not concentrate.  I cuss, lean over the pick up the rawhide and chuck it to the moon and spill my red wine all over the desk, floor and the dog.  Still chewing.  Now the dog smells like screen door, red wine and rawhide.  And shoe. 

So I was the taxi for three 4th graders today.  I took them to a place where they can jump on trampolines for hours and get rid of all that energy.  I wish they had a doggie trampoline place next door.   So on the way, Luke finds KIIS FM on the radio.  The station that says nothing to dancebeats.  oonce-a oonce-a oonce-a oonce-a baby baby baby baby.  They knew every word, rap and inflection of every song.  Which I guess is not that hard,  seeing that they play the same 6 songs in  tight rotation with nightclubs and plastic surgery advertised inbetween.    When a word like "sexy" came on, they would laugh hysterically and continue the song, without missing an oonce-a.   They are singing along to a guy named Pit Bull..a group called..(I am not kidding)  LMFAO..and Rhianna.   When I was pregnant I put earphones on my belly so Luke could hear Bob Wills, Bob Marley and anything classical.  When he finally entered the world, Walt held him on the couch and played the entire Red Headed Stranger cd.  We took him everywhere to hear our friends and songwriters.  Folks who had something to say.  But today, the child loves the KIIS FM.  That sweet voice singing the pop and the light rap and dancing like a Disney star.  

Sweet and funny days here lately.  I guess the child and the dog still need me.  I love that Luke will check to  see if I'm looking when he does a flip on the trampoline.  It's a quiet victory.  I guess the dog needs to sit by my feet when I am working.  Not such a bad feeling either.   I need them too and then some. 

So, I guess I will attempt to fix that screen tomorrow.  Maybe I will also attempt to listen to KIIS FM while I am working on it.  It will be another beautiful day..the pup and I will hang outside and enjoy  the bees and the birds and the inevitablity of the changing seasons together.


Wednesday  Feb.1, 2012
near midnight